Post Grads Help Your Friends Prosper

In college, you and your friends were probably all poor, so it was easy to empathize and all agree to do cheap or free things together. But, as careers bloom and head down different paths, you may begin to see a wider gap in the financial abilities of your friends.

Understand this truth: If you make more money than a friend, you are not better than them. If you make less, you are not worse than them. You will have different priorities and may have different definitions of what it means to prosper.

So, as you work to maintain friendships, remember to see things from their perspective and help them prosper, per their understanding of the word.

1. Listen and empathize

Depending on your personality, this could be a really difficult task as friends and family share their struggles with you. Do you do any of the following?

• Have advice on the tip of your tongue before you’ve heard the entire situation.
• Share your advice whether you’ve been asked to or not.
• Start forming solutions as you half-listen to what your friend is saying.

If this sounds like you (and don’t worry, it sounds like a lot of people), your first task is to listen. Listen to what your friend is sharing and then listen for their request for help. Empathize with what they’re feeling and going through, but don’t jump into “fix-it” mode.

They may ask for your advice, but many times, they know their options and know what they need to do, and in this moment they just need to vent. Or, they may be sharing so they can gain a better understanding of what other people are going through and what decisions they may need to make. Either way, listening is key to helping your friend toward a prosperous decision.

2. Serve

Never make your friends feel like a charity case. But, do help them feel appreciated, understood, and encouraged. For instance, if you know they’re struggling to save money, take them dinner one night. Or, randomly drop them off some lunch. Even buying them their favorite snack, when they’ve not allowed themselves to splurge, can be a welcome gift!

Are they working to remodel their home? Volunteer to help them with painting or pulling up old carpet. Do they really need a landscaper but just don’t have the money for it? Talk to them about trading out labor. You’ll help them fix their landscaping if they’ll help you with a home project later in the year.

From the small acts of service to the larger acts, your friends will appreciate that you’re thinking of them. Also, they’ll feel encouraged that you believe in the sacrifices they’re making to prosper.

3. Be Considerate

This should be a given, but sometimes it can be difficult when the financial gap between friends is widening. Being considerate doesn’t mean you pay for everything if you have the means. It’s more about asking them on trips or get togethers that you know they can afford.

Instead of going out, ask them if they want to come play board games and if they can bring the dessert. Or, if you want to go to the movies, ask them to go on the cheapest night of the week or the first weekend showing. Everyone can have fun, even on a budget, so don’t peer pressure your friends into changing their financial priorities to fit your desires. Instead, encourage them to have some fun within their means.

No matter your financial situation, you can always help your friends prosper. Understand what their goals in life are and continue encouraging them to reach for them. Listen, serve, and be considerate. That’s what a good friend does. Don’t be discouraged if your finances are seemingly lacking or your friends seem to be falling behind your financial track. Instead, encourage them to stay focused and build them up when sacrifices must be made.