Help Your Spouse Prosper

It’s one thing to prosper in your own finances, but when you join lives with someone else, it can be a challenge to learn how to work together toward mutual financial goals. You both bring different experiences with money to the table, and most likely, differing opinions on how money should be managed.

Differing opinions do not mean one of you is necessarily right or wrong. It just means you both have different experiences and preconceptions that you’re both bringing to the conversation.

• Do you tend to make all the money decisions?
• Do you find your spouse is more spontaneous in his/her purchases than you would like them to be?
• Do you find yourselves arguing over money or debt?

• If this sounds like you and your spouse, there are a few things you can do to strengthen your finances as well as your marriage.

First step? Decide if you want to see your spouse prosper.

That may sound like a dumb decision to make, but it is really important. Seeing your spouse prosper means they will feel confident in making financial decisions for your family, as will you.

This doesn’t mean you make all of the money decisions for them or take them out of the equation. It is actually the opposite. Helping your spouse prosper will hopefully be a mutual agreement to push each other to make smart financial decisions that match the goals you’ve set together.

Make the choice today to empower your spouse to prosper, making financial decisions that match your mutual financial goals.

What should you talk about?

• Set goalsfor your family. Have some fun sharing dreams and thinking big. Then scale back to naming a few realistic goals.
• Create a strategy and timelineon how to reach these goals. This needs to be reflected in a budget that you both have access to. Some couples find their spouse has the budget “all in their head.” This method essentially leaves one spouse in the dark on the finances. They will either not feel confident enough to make any money decisions or will overspend because they aren’t clear on the budget limits.
• Don’t talk in generalities.Go through all the numbers specifically. This means you look at income, debt, spending habits, all down to the penny. This will help you determine a realistic budget.
• Communicate with full transparency.Hiding anything from your spouse is generally not a good idea. Big and small purchases do make a difference. So, don’t hide those daily coffee runs or that weekend shopping trip. Be transparent so no one is caught off guard by your family’s current financial situation.
• Don’t cast blame or make accusations.When talking about money, bills, debt, etc., emotions can quickly get in the way of your progress. So, remember to not cast blame or make impulsive accusations. Instead, speak calmly with your spouse about potential or past purchases. If you find yourself getting upset, take a break from the conversation, but be clear on when you will come back to it.
  If you find your spouse hasn’t been making prosperous decisions with money, then remind them of the goals you both created together. Talk over the goals and go over the numbers. Sometimes, a reality check may be needed so you can both get back on the same page.
• Decide together on how you will split up bills and purchases.Everyone has a different method, so it’s important for you to find the method that works for you. You may decide to keep your accounts separate but split up financial responsibilities. Or, you may decide to work by percentages. Some couples put 80 percent of their paychecks into a joint account that is used to pay bills but have 20 percent that is their own for whatever they decide to purchase individually.
  Or, you may decide to have all your money go into a joint account that you both work from. With this method, you can use an app or a spreadsheet of some sort to track your purchases, so you are both aware of the account balance at all times.
• Encourage one another to have an attitude of gratefulness.When all you see are bills or a declining bank account, you may not feel like you have anything to be thankful for … but, that’s not true.
  Either at the beginning or end of your monthly financial talks, also talk about what you are thankful for. It will help you see the bigger picture and shift your focus from being solely on the struggles. If you find it difficult to come up with a list, you might even decide to keep a thankfulness jar or journal that you can read from and add to on these occasions.
• Plan your next money talk date.You may decide this needs to be a monthly conversation or you may decide it needs to be every few months. Add it to your calendar so expectations and goals are clear to both of you.

Decide today that you can prosper together! Prospering is a process and it takes time, hard work, and sacrifice, but the reward is great! When you see your goals coming to fruition, you’ll be thankful for the discussions and decisions you made along the way.

Prosper today and you’ll prosper tomorrow!

Here are some more great tips for every kind of family on being financially smart!