Help Your Grown Kids Prosper

One of the hardest things to do is watch your children struggle. It doesn’t matter if they’re struggling in their finances, relationships or career, it’s all hard to watch, especially if you feel your advice could turn the tide.

Here are some tips on helping your grown kids prosper as they face the varying big financial decisions of life.

1. Give them options with reasons, but not a to-do list.

Understand that the financial hurdles you faced as a young adult may be very different than what your daughter or son is facing now. But, with that being said, most financial principles will stay the same no matter the circumstances. Your advice may still be helpful, but it is their decision.

As they share their current struggles with you, remember that you are here to assist them into a prosperous life. Prospering isn’t a destination but a journey, one that is long and filled with ups and downs. Your knowledge could help them as they learn to navigate through these difficult choices.

The key here is to not give them a to-do list of things they should do. Recognize that there may be multiple wise decisions and that your choice may not necessarily be the best one for them. Instead, show them their options and the pros and cons for each. Help them through the decision-making process and the logic behind each possible decision instead of forcing your opinion on them. They may not choose the same decision that you would, but you’re still helping them weigh their options before making a final decision.

2. Help them financially, but discuss repayment plans or stipulations first.

You aren’t being mean if you decide to give your grown children a loan and expect repayment of some sort.

It’s also OK to not ask for repayment, especially if you know they aren’t capable of repaying. But, you can discuss other options. Do you need help with a project around the house or your car? Enlist their help. Also, make sure this is truly a need. Discuss their budget with them and talk to them about anything they may be able to cut so they are able to continue paying their bills.

It may be that they need help because their cable/internet bill is too high. Or, it could be they are living paycheck to paycheck and just had a medical emergency. The important thing is to make sure they know they are not alone. You are here to assist them, but not carry them, financially.

Your financial help should empower them to continue making wise financial decisions and not make them feel like a failure, which leads to our last tip.

3. Share your own struggles and mistakes.

It is never easy to admit fault, even if it’s been years. But, one mistake you could be making is never sharing your past struggles with your kids or grown children.

As your children face financial or life hurdles, it can be helpful to remind them of the struggles you’ve had to overcome or failed to overcome. Show them what you’ve learned from making wise and unwise decisions.

Depending on your own upbringing and background, this may be obvious, or you may balk at the idea of sharing some of your greatest failures. But, these stories could keep your adult children from making the same mistake. Or, at the very least, could empower them to ask for the help they truly need.

Share your experiences, advise without demands and empower your children to prosper. It is difficult to let go and allow them to make these decisions on their own. By allowing them to make the decision, you’re helping them not just through this circumstance, but are preparing them for the next hurdle they’ll face.